The Meanest Mother In The World

I had the meanest mother in the world. While other kids got donuts, pop tarts or didn't even have to eat breakfast. I had to have things like Cheerio's, oatmeal or eggs and toast. When others got to get cokes and candy for lunch, I had to eat sandwiches. As you can guess, my supper was different than a lot of my friends too. But, at least I was not alone in my suffering, my sister and brother had the same mean Mother I did.   My Mother insisted on knowing where we were  at all times, you'd think we were on a chain gang. She had to know who our friends were and what we were doing. Plus she insisted, if we say we will be back in an hour, that we are actually only gone for an hour or less. I am ashamed to admit it, but she actually spanked us. Not once, but every time we disobeyed and did as we pleased. Can you imagine spanking a child just for disobeying? Now you can begin to see how mean she really was.    The worst is yet to come. We had to be in bed by 10:00 that night and up early the next morning, we couldn't sleep til noon like our friends. So, while our friends got to sleep, our Mother was in the middle of breaking the child labor laws. She made us do chores! She made us wash dishes, make beds and learn to cook, you know, things that aren't important to know for the real world!   She insisted on ridiculous this like telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth, even if it nearly killed us, and sometimes it nearly did. By the time we were teenagers she was much worse and much wiser and our lives became even more unbearable.None of this honking the horn of a car, she embarrassed us to no end by making our friends and dates come to the door and introduce themselves. Did I forget to mention while all my other friends got to date at the mature ages of 12 and 13, my conservative Mother made me wait until I was 16.    My Mother was a complete failure as a parent. Look at all the things we missed out on. We never got to get kicked out of school, get hooked on drugs or alcohol , take part in a riot or even get arrested. She forced us to grow in to God fearing, educated, honest adults.And whom do we have to blame for the way we turned out? You'r right our mean Mom. Because, you see I thank God he gave me the meanest Mother in the world.      (This poem was written by Erma Bombeck, but I reworded a lot of it to fit this decade, it was written along time ago)